Murphy’s Law; It’s Always In Effect
The other night at about 2:30 am, my wife of 35 years jumps from the bed because the new puppy that recently had adopted us was restless. As she broke the covers and her feet hit the floor to scoot the puppy outside, I decided the time was right to relieve myself of the previous evening’s fluid refreshment.
As I’m standing there in front of the bowl, emptying my bladder in a half awake daze, my wife came in from behind and at what seemed like full volume, announced that the puppy had piddled on the floor. By the time her words made it to my ears and through the dense fog of my state of awareness, she was reaching for the toilet paper.
At somewhere near the speed of light, she grabbed the lose end of the roll and with a mighty yank, not only did she get her several sheets of paper but she also pulled the roll from the holder. And, you know that plastic spring loaded piece that secures the roll to the holder and acts as the axle; well it did a triple gainer and landed squarely in the bowl directly under my golden stream.
Now you would think after I finished my business, I’d just reach down and pick the thing out of the bowl, wash my hands and just go back to bed or maybe even just go to the kitchen and get a pair of tongs to collect the soiled piece. That would have been the easy way but we’re talking Murphy here and in this reality, nothing is done the easy way.
So as I finished up and shook the last drop free, I thought to myself that that spring loaded 8 inch piece of plastic needed to be rinsed and what a better way than to just flush the john. So I reached up and squeezed the handle and ker-plush; the water came cascading into the bowl and initiated that clockwise swirl we are all so familiar with. As the water created its little vortex, I watched in total amazement as that 8 inch piece of plastic spun with increasing velocity and slide ever so elegantly right down the drain.
Now you must understand that this particular toilet has a hard time swallowing two squares of toilet paper, much less a good solid bowel movement. So why, at this point in time, did the commode gods decide that this flush was to be the perfect storm, only Murphy knows.
In an unconscious attempt to make sure the toilet paper holder axle was well rinsed or maybe, well jammed, I flushed the john several more times. Then it dawned on me, nope, its not gonna’ float back out. To make sure Murphy took home the trophy for this particular divine intervention, I decided next I had better test for a plugged drain. This was done by flushing wads of toilet paper not once, but several times and yep, the water started backing up proving that we had blockage. Once I convinced myself that I had done the best job I could in making that toilet unusable I when back to bed.
Murphy one, half asleep guy zero.
